I remember the moment that I broke. I was waiting for them to announce the name of the Taste Canada winner and even though the nasty cynical part of my mind knew my name wouldn’t be called, I couldn’t help but have a last spark of hope that I was wrong. The name was called and it wasn’t mine. I crumbled inside as I sat smiling through clenched teeth as I held in my tears. I sat there thinking, “That’s it. I’m done. I just can’t try anymore.”
That was the moment I broke. That was when blogging brought me to my knees.
I’ve working through why that particular disappointment affected me so profoundly. I have some understanding of why but I think there will need to be a lot more navel gazing about this before I really get over it.
I had already been dealing with a slow burn of depression that may be post-partum related but I really think that it was just the cumulative effect of disappointment after disappointment as I tried to build some sort of career for myself.
I know now that I was completely naive into believing that I could have built a career out of my food blog. Sure, people do it but very rarely can one do so without having to write posts that I don’t really want any part of. I tell most PR people that email me that their product isn’t a good fit for me. There aren’t that many avenues of revenue for a blog in Canada so sponsored posts are one of the few ways people can make money blogging.
It turns out that I want readers to like my blog and recipes just as they are. What I write and cook here is part of who I am. PR people are saying that the diary style of blog is not commercially viable anymore. So be it. I will keep writing what I want to write and post recipes that I’m proud of. This means that my little blog will fly pretty low under the radar of most readers but there is no point in writing a blog that I get no joy from. I see no reason to bust my ass and pour my heart into a blogging business that is just that, a business. It would provide less income than I’d make if I had a somewhat boring office job that had regular hours and benefits.
The naive hope that this blog would lead to me finding a career was not well thought out. I suppose I had a foolish ‘Field of Dreams’ type plan – “If you build it, they will come.” It turns out that plan only works for magical baseball diamonds.
I was a passionate blogger for a while and I’m slowly picking myself up. It turns out that I was wrong all those months ago when I felt that I couldn’t try anymore. I’ve decided that I will come back to blogging with my whole heart and the best way to do that is to start over.
One of my first blog posts was for simple currant scones. I’ve tweaked the recipe slightly but it remains a very simple scone recipe that I make time and again. I’ve taken the old recipe down because this one is much better, as is the photograph.
If you want to share how you dealt with disappointment or reigniting a passion for something in the comments, it would be most welcome.
A recipe for currant scones that is simple to prepare but yield impressive results.
10 minPrep Time
12 minCook Time
22 minTotal Time
- 2 cups all purpose flour (plus a little more for rolling out the dough)
- 2 tbsp sugar
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/2 cup cold butter, cut into cubes
- 1/2 cup cold buttermilk
- 1 egg, lightly beaten
- 1/3 cup currants
- 2 tbsp whipping cream (for brushing on scones before baking)
- 1 tbsp coarse decorator sugar (optional)
- Preheat the oven to 425F and line a baking pan with parchment paper.
- In a bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, sugar, and salt. You can sift them if you prefer but a quick whisk to blend does the trick.
- Using a pastry blender, cut the cold butter into the flour until the butter is in pea size pieces evenly distributed in the flour mixture.
- Using a fork, stir the buttermilk and egg into the flour mixture. When the fork isn't blending the ingredients well, use your hands to lightly bring the dough together. Knead it ever so gently in the bowl until the ingredients are just brought together to form a ball of dough.
- Turn the ball of dough out onto a lightly floured board. Roll the dough out until it is 1 inch thick. Don't roll it out thinner than that or you won't get as nice of a rise of the scones.
- Cut the scones out with a 2 inch round biscuit cutter. Gather the scraps up from the first cutting and roll it again to 1 inch thick and cut out more scones. Gather the last little bit of dough up and make one or two more scones. Discard any tiny amounts of dough or bake them for a nibble of scone.
- Place the scones on the baking sheet lined with parchment paper and brush the tops with whipping cream. Sprinkle some coarse decorator sugar on top.
- Bake for 10-12 minutes or until the scones are nicely golden on the top and bottom.
- Best if eaten that day.